just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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