Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
