Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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