i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
