using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
