Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
