what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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