Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
