I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
