you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
