Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize