Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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