My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
