dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
