I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
