A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
