I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
