We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize