just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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