we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
