she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
