Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
