Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
