Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
