Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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