Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
