tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
