I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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