Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
