so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
are you so shy because you have an std?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
