ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Dicks are not precious.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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