i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
