i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
