It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There r osticjed everywhere
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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