He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize