just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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