Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
