Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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