Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
