Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
