I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
