i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
