Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
