A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
