she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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