she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
