he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
