omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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