I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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