i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
