come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
