Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.

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(954): View more from Florida

When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.

(1-954): View more from Florida

RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND

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(616): View more from Michigan

Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier

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(646): View more from New York

I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.

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