I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
