i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
