just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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