please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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