One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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