Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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