I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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