Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize