So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
