well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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